Tuesday, March 22, 2011


More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.  ~Doug Larson

One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again.  ~Judith Viorst

You don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around - and why his parents will always wave back.  ~William D. Tammeus

Making the decision to have a child is momentous.  It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.  ~Elizabeth Stone

There comes a time when a woman needs to stop thinking about her looks and focus her energies on raising her children.  This time comes at the moment of conception.  A child needs a role model, not a supermodel.  ~Astrid Alauda, on the "hot mom" trend

It kills you to see them grow up.  But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't.  ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams

Simply having children does not make mothers.  ~John A. Shedd

A parent's love is whole no matter how many times divided.  ~Robert Brault

The guys who fear becoming fathers don't understand that fathering is not something perfect men do, but something that perfects the man.  The end product of child raising is not the child but the parent.  ~Frank Pittman, Man Enough

Whenever I held my newborn baby in my arms, I used to think that what I said and did to him could have an influence not only on him but on all whom he met, not only for a day or a month or a year, but for all eternity - a very challenging and exciting thought for a mother.  ~Rose Kennedy

Instant availability without continuous presence is probably the best role a mother can play.  ~Lotte Bailyn

So, that's a lot of quotes today, but I found them very meaningful.

I've been thinking a lot about parenthood today.  I'm not a parent yet, so I know there's a lot that I don't know or understand yet.

However, when you work with children all day, every day, it comes up.

It's also on my mind because I have been very alarmed by several news stories I have read lately.

I read one article about a mother who decided that she didn't want to be a mother anymore, so she gave her children to someone else and moved.  She claimed that she didn't want to be swallowed up in being a mom.  She claims that her relationship with her children improved after she left.  Sure, she may be a better friend to her children, but who said they needed a friend? 

Afterwards, I read another article that claimed that only someone who was completely irrational would ever have children.  Because, obviously, anything that is hard to do, expensive, stressful, and tiring, should be avoided.  Why would anyone ever do anything to inconvenience themselves? 
This is the line that infuriated me the most: "Of course parents should be commended for one little thing they do: maintain the existence of humanity. I praise them for that, but I think they're both heroes and suckers."

I feel like this is pointing out a major flaw in our society.  It's all about self.  Of course having (and raising) children is hard!  However, that does not mean it is something to be avoided or shirked.  This reminds me of the scripture in the Book of Mormon: "Wo unto them that call evil good, and good evil, that put darkness for light, and light for darkness, that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!"
(2 Nephi 15:20)

Then, I noticed some other articles.  One study pointed out: "These research findings, of course, fly in the face of our cultural dogma that proclaims it impossible for people to achieve an emotionally fulfilling and healthy life unless they become parents. And that’s a problem, because the vast majority of American men and women eventually have children, yet conditions in our society make it nearly impossible for them to reap all the emotional benefits of doing so.” 
Again, the phrasing of this article points to a problem in our society rather than a problem with having children.  I found that interesting.

One article had a quote that I loved: "But when it comes to happiness and parenting, I'd argue two things: First, the fact that we can focus so intensely on personal happiness means that we've got it better than most people in the world. And second, sure, when you look at the cost analysis, having kids isn't strictly rational—but then again, neither are many other things we do. Focusing on how much you hate parenthood isn't helpful when it's still one of the most important jobs we have."
I actually really enjoyed this article.  I would recommend it.  This article recognizes that parenting is very difficult, however, that with sacrifice, it is something that can be done.

This life is not meant to be easy, contrary to popular belief, and happiness actually does not come from doing nothing.  Happiness comes from working hard at something worthwhile.  When we are doing the Lord's work we will find peace, satisfaction, and happiness.
That doesn't mean that there aren't hard and sad times.  We all have to overcome adversity.  I'm grateful parenting isn't any different.  It puts us outside of ourselves.  It forces us to be better, to work harder, and to love differently than we have loved before.

"Work is always a spiritual necessity even if, for some, work is not an economic necessity." (“Put Your Shoulder to the Wheel” Neal A. Maxwell, April 1998 General Conference)

(That's my momma on her dad's lap)

1 comment:

  1. Amen and Amen sister! This was an excellent post. I think I shall share it with friends!